How long has it been?
And yet I'm still faced with these same questions.
Ones that can drown a faith under endless currents of doubt.
The only difference is at times I thought I had felt.
But there are so many inconsistencies to what I believe.
Could it be that I wanted to be deceived?
Still there is a side of me that hangs every belief,
and every hope on the knowledge of you.
And well, if you aren't that truth , I just don't know what to do.
Still I have held behind my fear of the failure faith too long.
Tonight questions cannot go unasked.
And I will throw every stone unturned with the rage that will either cement or bring the most painful of change,
or help me cling by my very nails to the smallest mustard seed of truth.
Where are you?
Or more to the point why aren't you here?
For years and years and years I felt like I made excuses for you.
And for myself.
But now I want no more reasons, only you.
And if that isn't possible let me walk away with the knowledge Of the absence of you.
Rebuild and move on.
Or learn the real you and how I was wrong
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