How long has it been?
And yet I'm still faced with these same questions.
Ones that can drown a faith under endless currents of doubt.
The only difference is at times I thought I had felt.
But there are so many inconsistencies to what I believe.
Could it be that I wanted to be deceived?
Still there is a side of me that hangs every belief,
and every hope on the knowledge of you.
And well, if you aren't that truth , I just don't know what to do.
Still I have held behind my fear of the failure faith too long.
Tonight questions cannot go unasked.
And I will throw every stone unturned with the rage that will either cement or bring the most painful of change,
or help me cling by my very nails to the smallest mustard seed of truth.
Where are you?
Or more to the point why aren't you here?
For years and years and years I felt like I made excuses for you.
And for myself.
But now I want no more reasons, only you.
And if that isn't possible let me walk away with the knowledge Of the absence of you.
Rebuild and move on.
Or learn the real you and how I was wrong
Track Name: To Whom it May Concern
So here it goes again, I'm down to my last end
I've spent my whole life trying to pretend
That I could make things fit, where they didn't fit in
Or that I could hold myself together , like I had both ends.
But the failures I hid, started to hide me
And the person I thought I could be, well that just wasn't me
And the people I broke, have all left me, and I tried to revive their trust
But that turned up empty.
So now I walk alone, on the miles I put between our souls
I'm learning to reflect your love
I just hope that fires not cold.
Until the day I show
So you can count on me.
Then the only thing
I have left is me
So ill build from here
While failure calls from my past
Try to serenade my ears.
But I must push forward
I have to give up those ghosts
If I'm to ever have more
Than what my chest can hold
To whom it may concern
I don't expect you to forgive me now
But I will work for a time
when you'll hear a different sound
A heart that beats
Not for a selfish man
But a love for others
That with every beat expands
But until then
Me and my heart
will walk the miles
I drove us all apart.
We will put hope in every step
Until there is no distance left.
But that's just the dream
And I am no there yet.
The only thing that I have left
Is what's inside,
Inside of my chest
Track Name: Instead Of Who I Am
Can I give you my soul?
And all of its intentions within?
Instead of the mess of me that I've made
Instead of what's to come, Instead of what I've been.
Can I give you my heart?
If you peel away every pain
Every shortcoming And every last rotting thing
Every part It has a core that WANTS to be true.
And it had every intention of caring for you
the best it could do
Can I give you my dreams?
Instead of my failures
Instead of where I stand
Can I give you my love?
Instead of who I am